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Thursday, January 15, 2004 4:11 PM Gotta get out of the house more often "That prisoners in perpetual solitary confinement often hanged themselves or battered themselves to death was attributed to insanity induced by masturbation" "Control Units" in the collection How to be Alone, by Jonathan Franzen Wednesday, January 14, 2004 1:37 AM Ooops! I came home late, from a local pub, to find the dog in the front room, on the floor. Kona, the said dog, is not allowed in the front room, as he likes to sleep on the couches and we don't like having dog hair on those same couches. Kona is only allowed in the front room when someone else, as in a house member, is in the room. That way we can control his couch jumping craving. When I noticed Kona in the front room, and the lights off, thereby assuming that he snuck in, I said, in that command voice you use with dogs, the one where you are trying to let them know that they are a very bad dog, "What are you doing in here?" Kona jumped up. So did Kate, a housemate, who was laying on the couch, with a date. She thought I was talking to her. Monday, January 05, 2004 2:44 AM Story that won't let you sleep You wonder why they hadn't come for you yet. You had been patient. You drove in all the right places, both alone and with friends. No shielding to stop them from finding you, and still they hadn't come. One night, when it was really late, after being woken by the dog, the first thought was, "Finally!" But it was just some possums in the trash. Then and there you yelled out into the night that you no longer believed that they would ever come, and that you no longer believed in them at all. 2 months later, they still hadn't come for you. You wondered if they knew that you were faking it for all those nights. The despair started then. The Drink flowed. Late nights with books and old 45s, that were once your Dad's. Then you met Shelia. You forgot all about them. Shelia and you had long talks and fast drives. She moved in one February night and it snowed all the next day. The two of you made hot cocoa and populated the yard with snow angels. A quick snow ball fight with the kids in the park across the street, which you both let them think they had won. The day was perfect and the following nights were just. One morning you woke and Shelia was not there. Her car in the driveway and her clothes in the closet. You found $1.50 in loose change under her pillow. You called her cell and it rang on the end table. Your heart cracked. The cops never found her. Her parents never heard from her. Her editor bundled her works into a collection, and they became bestsellers. It comes to you this night, alone, wrapped in the afghan she knit, that they finally came for you after all those years, and upon seeing Shelia, they took her instead. You find that you can't blame them. edited 1/5/04 12:20PM Sunday, January 04, 2004 3:41 AM It's 3:41 and I am not tired I have found myself staying up later each evening, until it is almost daybreak. Then I sleep, and wake further into the afternoon to repeat the same at night. 2 weeks not working, on Vacation, with nothing to do but play on the PS2 with my brother and go out with friends, drink, TV, and Movies. Unfortunately work looms in less than 30 hours. I'll need to do something this Sunday, other than read the Times and watch Football. I'll need to run and ride and exercise, tire myself out, so that mayhap, I will fall to bed at a reasonable hour and get 8 hours before Monday morning. Of course if I were to fall asleep now I won't wake til noon at the earliest. Brain spinning with thought, body sluggish, sleep. Please. Saturday, January 03, 2004 5:17 PM Holiday Detox 3 movies, House of Sand and Fog, LOTR: Return of the King and Cold Mountain. See the last 2, don't bother with the first. Received a sweater, some cash, a check, a book, hankerchiefs and golf balls. Oh yes and a tie clip. Gave more than I received and so feel good. Bought for myself 2 CDs, 2 CD/DVDs and 1 DVD: The Strokes "This Room on Fire", The Beatles "Rubber Soul", Tori Amos "Tales of a Librarian", Coldplay "Live 2003" and The Cure "Trilogy". Which makes me feel even better. Recommend them all. Happy New Year and Happy Birthday to Jaded, which turned 3 on December 30th.

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